Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
