so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
