who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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