Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
