Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
