The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
