i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drake has all the answers
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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