she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
