dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so let's talk penis.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
