Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
