This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
