I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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