What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
