Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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