He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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