I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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