we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
