Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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