Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
