I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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