ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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