woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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