If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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