what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
