During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
