I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
