I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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