there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think your dad took our porno
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
