Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize