I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
