new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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