Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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