then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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