community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
