You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
