i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
