But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize