my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
