i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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