i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
