I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
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I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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