Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
