Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize