I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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