billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
