ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
vagina is talking i cant
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
