do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
