Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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