if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize