Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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