Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
