ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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