piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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