Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
