Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
