I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
