Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize