Someone shit on the floor
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
