The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize