Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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