well I can't set my house on fire every night
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
