don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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