i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
