I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
