16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
