hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
