my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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